Start with what you want to change
Before you talk to any coach, write down in a few lines what you want to be different in six months. Not "less stress," but something you could notice: leaving the office by a set hour most days, a calendar with real gaps in it, a deputy who makes the decisions you're holding now, a vacation without checking messages. That list is what you'll test every coach against.
Questions for a first conversation
- Experience. How many leaders at my level have you worked with, and in what kinds of organizations?
- Approach. How do you work with someone whose main problem is sustained overload? What does a typical engagement look like?
- Structure. How often do we meet, for how long, and over how many months? Is there a review point?
- Between sessions. What do you expect from me between sessions, and how do we stay in touch?
- Confidentiality. What stays between us? If my employer pays, what do they hear?
- Limits. When would you suggest I see someone other than a coach?
- Fees. How do you charge: per session, per month or per engagement? What happens if I need to pause?
What to look for
Listen as much to how they answer as to what they say. A good fit usually shows up early: the coach asks sharp questions, listens more than they talk, speaks plainly about what they can and can't help with, and doesn't promise quick results. Experience with leaders in your sector helps, because it shortens the time spent explaining your world. Titles and credentials vary widely in coaching, and fit matters more than letters after a name.
The contract
Ask for a written agreement before you start. It should cover the number and length of sessions, fees and payment terms, cancellation and pause rules, confidentiality, and, if your employer is paying, exactly what is reported to them. Read it before the first session, not after.
Warning signs
- A coach who promises a fast result or a fixed outcome.
- Pressure to sign a long, prepaid engagement on the first call.
- Vague answers about confidentiality, especially when an employer is paying.
- A coach who describes what they do as healthcare, or who suggests you stop seeing a doctor or other professional.
- Little interest in your goals, and a lot of talk about their own method.
Try before you commit
Many coaches offer an introductory conversation at no charge, or a short first engagement before a longer one. Use it. If after a few sessions you're not making progress, say so; a good coach will discuss it openly and, if needed, help you find someone better suited.
If you're choosing for your team
If you're choosing a coach for someone who reports to you, involve them in the choice and agree confidentiality terms first. Coaching that feels imposed rarely works.
Comparing two or three coaches
Talk to more than one if you can. After each conversation, jot down how you felt: heard, rushed, challenged, lectured. Compare their proposed structures side by side, including total cost over the engagement, not just the per-session fee. Then choose the one you'd most look forward to talking to on a hard week. You'll be meeting them on plenty of those.
Online or in person
Many executive coaches work by video, which widens your choice beyond your own city. In-person sessions can make it easier to switch off from the office, while video saves travel time on busy weeks. Ask whether the coach offers both, and consider starting in person and moving some sessions online later.
The directory's part
ExecutiveBurnoutPros introduces you to one independent coach serving your area whose format fits what you describe. It doesn't rank or evaluate coaches; the choice is yours.